How to Hear What’s in Your Heart

In my last post I shared the best dating advice I’ve ever received. This post is about the best method I know of to access what could be called one’s deeper knowing, one’s heart wisdom—it could also be called Conversations with God and published as a series of best-selling books. I’m an explorer and observer of my own psyche and my own life and my own behavior and when I stumble upon something that works, I’ll be damned if I’m not going to share it.

This is the most ridiculously SIMPLE thing you’ll ever hear and yet it’s totally miraculous. I learned this from my friend Joey—a quirky, gorgeous, intuitive woman. One night we were sitting around talking and she asked me something about “what was in my heart.” The question immediately pissed me off because I believed absolutely in my inability to access such information. I worshipped at the shrine of indecision and self-doubt and I couldn’t imagine that there existed some method by which I could hear anything other than the constant jabbering of my mind. I explained to her that I had no effing clue what was in my heart and when she really understood that (for once) I wasn’t exaggerating, she became a little sad for me and energetically put me on her knee and hugged me. And then she changed my life forever.

So here it is: Grab something to write with and something to write on. Get comfortable and then move your attention to your heart. I imagine an elevator descending from the middle of my head down into my heart, if that helps. Then, ask a question from your heart—so the words are literally emanating from that place. And then listen from your heart, as though it’s the receiver on a telephone. Write down what you hear. That’s it!

You’ll know when your rational mind is interfering because the words you hear will suddenly be coming from your head (whether when you ask the question or receive the answer). You will notice the words coming from a different direction or a different angle than the direction or angle your heart wisdom comes from. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you start to recognize whether it’s your head or your heart speaking. If it’s not heart-centered, hop back in that elevator and get back down into your heart again.

And don’t make this a chore or something really serious. Ask about fun things, ask about stupid things, ask about serious things. It’s a conversation and it’s building the habit of speaking and listening from the heart. I always start with the simple greeting of Hello and I get the funniest Hellos back–sometimes long and drawn out, sometimes in a very deep voice, sometimes a giggly voice. Being greeted by a silly Hello tells me I’m on track, but I bet everyone has a different telltale sign that they’re on track.

When I’m writing what is coming through, I just let the information flow out of my pen without any attachment to it. I’m not even consciously digesting it as I write it—I’m just letting it out. Then the next day or days later I’ll pick up my journal and read what I wrote and wonder, “Where did that come from?!”

Here’s an example of a recent conversation:

“You want everything tied up in a bow before you’ll allow yourself happiness. That’s not how it works. Tied up in a  bow is for gifts being given at baby and wedding showers. I’m talking about living. Getting messy. Taking risks. Loving fiercely. Taking loving care of your body because you realize it’s a miracle and a gift and it’s perfect and beautiful. Reread His Dark Materials trilogy. Revisit the daemons.”

Then I asked, “What animal is my daemon?” I wrote: “An eagle. You have broad perspective, killer instinct, and unbounded joy. You are untethered a bit, in a good way.”

Then I asked, “If I were to get a tattoo, what would it be [to signify blah, blah, too personal for a blog post]?” I wrote: “It would be a kite with a string of bows on it. It’s a subtle reminder of everything the eagle represents with the added meaning of “that’s where bows belong–not on your life.”

See, silly. Or very, very serious. However you roll. Please give this a shot even though it’s so simple. It might just change your life.


Please share in the comments if you have a particular way you access your heart’s wisdom or if you’d like to share your experience of doing this exercise.


5 thoughts on “How to Hear What’s in Your Heart

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