(Originally published October 3, 2013)
Two funny things happened today.
1) I got an email from Sallie Mae. She’s clearly in denial that I’ve truly left her.
2) I received correspondence yet again from the Superior Court of California, County of Los Angeles. This is the second time I’ve heard from them in as many weeks. The clerks are very sweet about including a cover sheet each time that tells me exactly which part of the process I’ve screwed up.
Rebecca and I were married in California during the few months the window was open for gay marriage. Do you know how easy it is to get married? And do you also know how difficult it is to get divorced?!
And we’ve got it easy peasy. We’re still friends, I really like her new girlfriend, Radha the dog goes back and forth and still benefits from having two (well, actually three) mommas. We no longer own property together, we’ve already divided all the assets, yada yada. And still…the matter is not yet closed.
The real problem is that legalese shuts my brain down. Rebecca and I met with a lawyer once to have our wills written up (we needed to have a plan in place for who would take care of all the animals) and Rebecca followed every minute of the conversation. I just kept shrinking lower in my chair and might have cried from frustration after we left. I had NO IDEA what was said or what was happening. Mostly I’m pretty smart—I get by—but in a lawyer’s office I am out of my element and totally clueless.
So I just laugh every time I get another fat envelope back from the Superior Court of CA. And then I chuckle softly to myself as I write the LOL text to Rebecca about what I just received in the mail. She might just be stuck with me forever. She thinks she should get a divorce so that the woman who’s currently in love with her could make a move? RIDICULOUS! CA thinks NOT!
But with perseverance (which as a Taurus, I’ve got an abundance of), we’ll make it through to the other side of divorce. For some people it’s about rebuilding self esteem, starting from scratch, picking up the pieces. For us, at this point, it’s purely about bureaucracy.
And we will win.