(Originally published September 30, 2013)

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I spent 17 hours yesterday and today with one of my closest friends driving back to Denver from Walla Walla. All together we spent about 34 hours in the car (round trip) for about 32 hours of awake reunion time (and don’t believe my math because I’m very sleep deprived).

We were giddy with excitement the whole way to Walla Walla. We spent time buffering our memories with names and stories in an effort to avoid the herky-jerky awkwardness of non-remembering.

This was an amazing reunion in that it was way less about, “Hey, what do you do for a living?” and way more about, “Wow, so good to see you [and truly meaning it]. How are you? Tell me about your life.” I could see the sleep deprivation in the faces of my many friends with young children. I could feel beneath the excitement the weariness, the struggle, the contentment, the juggling…the actual living that so many of us have done since last seeing each other: kids born, illnesses fought (and won), marriages changing for better or worse, hearts broken and then mended, finances both smooth and rough, and all of us sharing memories of then with the added perspective of now.

I also noticed unadulterated joy, kindness, and the constantly asked question between people of different friend groups: “Why didn’t we ever hang out? You’re so cool!” Walls were down. Insecurities seemed to fade quickly. I heard those who were self-conscious of their own status say things like, “I can’t believe one woman from my class became an astronaut and the other became a [fill in the blank] and I’m just a [fill in the blank].” This self-deprecation really wasn’t tolerated as I’d hear someone say, “And are you happy?” The atmosphere seemed one in which many of us might have been self-conscious but we sure weren’t going to allow anyone else to be!

I also heard people say to each other, “Wow, you look EXACTLY the same!” And honestly, most of us really do…on the outside.

(Originally published September 28, 2013)

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The road trip to Walla Walla from Denver (for my 15-year college reunion) has never been so easy or so fun. Symons and I made it here effortlessly. We mostly talked and listened to music but on the second day we started listening to Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability. If you don’t already know about this woman, I’m honored to introduce her to you.

The YouTube video below describes her work as follows:

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions: How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to embrace our imperfections and to recognize that we are enough—that we are worthy of love, belonging and joy?

Here’s the TED talk that blew her work open to the nation/world:

 

The Power of Vulnerability audio is completely amazing. I thought I had purchased an audiobook but it turns out to be the recording of a multi-day talk she gave. (I got it as part of a 30-day free trial to Audible.com that includes one free download.)

I think it should be required listening for every person. It’s loaded with nugget after nugget of information that can increase anyone’s emotional intelligence. I’m certain that once I get all the way through it, I’ll listen over and over again. Check her out and I know you’ll fall in love with her as I have.

(Originally published September 28, 2013)

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The house we’re sharing with 10 of our closest Whitman friends (plus kids) is filled with enthusiastic conversations and laughter all layered over each other and stretching from room to room. I can pick out one voice from the other and hear the smiles in the stories.

I now know the beautiful finer details of my friends’ lives: that Tim is called Papa, Magill is Mama Gil, Priscilla is Gram. Am I “Auntie Lawson” or “Auntie Erin”? Or will I be “Auntie Elephant” to my friends’ kids as I am to my bio-nieces and -nephews?

The energy in each room ebbs and flows as little ones crawl in and out, their little faces shedding pure light into the room and then their little diapered bottoms scooting out again. I chuckle every time Susan says, “Who’s got eyes on Elliot?” Little Zaidy gives amazing hugs, burrowing into me even though this is our first meeting.

The weather here is dark and gloomy and rainy—the opposite of the email we all received from the college saying it was expected to be gorgeous and sunny during the days but chilly at night. Very few of us dressed appropriately and it’s just one more thing to laugh about.

Last night we pulled up pictures from our last reunion and realized that Tim was wearing the same long-sleeved shirt as he’d been wearing five years ago. We got no end of laughs about that. Makes me feel better about the fact that my two go-to long-sleeved shirts are from soccer in high school (putting them at about 20 years old). Emo said, “We literally never go shopping for clothes,” and I appreciated all over again that I am once again with my people.

(Originally published September 26, 2013)

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Symons and I made it to Twin Falls, Idaho, tonight! We WOO-HOOed at

and then again at

and we high-fived at

Tomorrow we’ll arrive at our destination of Walla Walla, Washington—the home of Whitman College—to relish the friendships that began forming 19 years ago.

What does that have to do with me being a BAG LADY?

Well…this picture snapped by a laughing Symons tells you all you need to know: I have a bag problem. (Though those who know me well will appreciate that I have upgraded from Earth-harming plastic to Earth-friendlier paper—and from lowly grocery stores to the la-la sheik Whole Foods brand!)

While most people travel with the aid of suitcases or backpacks, I’ve always preferred bags. I’m sure it has something to do with being the child of divorced parents and getting used to going from house to house with all my required possessions tucked neatly into my conveniently handled friends.

My excuse for being a bag lady on this trip is quite different, though. Today as I started packing, I opened my closet to retrieve my suitcase and it was being occupied by Chester, my handsome and rugged cat.

(not my actual cat or suitcase)

I keep my suitcase covered with a blanket so it won’t get hairy (only took me 10 years to figure out a solution to the hairy-suitcase problem!) and in so doing I inadvertently turned my closet into the world’s best Feline Man Cave! This morning it looked like he was recovering from a long night of slinking around outside defending the neighborhood from vicious crime. I couldn’t possibly disturb his sleep just to procure the item that I’ve gotten along for so long without!

And so…for the rest of the trip, for the love of my man, I will proceed to heft my possessions from one location to the next…in grocery bags. I will go on record now, however, and say that if you ever see me requiring the use of a grocery cart to lug around said possessions, please call someone on my behalf to do an intervention (Symons would be a good choice).

(Originally posted September 25, 2013)

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When preparing for any travel, the first thing I always do is clean my apartment. Gotta’ vacuum, sweep and mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, do the dishes, dust…

Last night I went the extra step of not just cleaning my bedroom, but rearranging the furniture in the bedroom. Really? I haven’t started doing laundry, haven’t started packing, haven’t even scrubbed the kitchen floor yet, but first I will rearrange the bedroom?!

Here’s why it was so important to start and finish this task: My bed had been facing the wrong way for two months and my sleep had been horrible all that time! I’ve had nights in which I’ve thrown my pillows to the foot of the bed and slept UPSIDE DOWN so that I could fall asleep! In the short term, that was easier than playing the game of Tetris that’s required to rotate my queen bed within a small bedroom lined with other furniture.

Last night I got it all rearranged, though, and managed to do most of the other cleaning—and all with incredible ease. It’s like piling more doing onto the already big mountain of doing somehow allows any extra effort to be absorbed into the whole. Then the travel happens, which is always amazing and fuels its own fire, and then I’m home again to the benefit of all that previous doing: a clean apartment, a sense of accomplishment, and a clean slate to begin writing the next adventures!

I guess travel gives me the deadline I need—the line in the sand—to get done what I’ve put off doing.

What must YOU do before you’ll allow yourself to leave for travel? It’s fun to bring to your conscious awareness what might otherwise be habitual and completely unconscious…

And now I’m going to crawl into my rightly-oriented bed and have amazing dreams about the hella’ cute girl I’ve been hanging out with lately.

(Originally published September 22, 2013)

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I was just saying a couple days ago that I always seem to miss the changing of the leaves in the mountains because it happens earlier there than in the city and by the time I think of it, I’ve already missed it.

So today while I was thinking of something fun to do for date #2[?], I thought, “Oh! We’ll go see the leaves! Clare hasn’t been to the mountains much since she got here and it would be great fun to hang out and admire the beauty of the Rocky Mountains.”

Right there: that’s more adventure. It’s easy to think of blog subjects when I’m having fun and creating the life I’d like to be living.

Where does the enhanced intuition come in? Well, this morning when I was thinking of driving Clare through the mountains, I had a vision of us stuck on the side of the road with my car engine smoking and letting off a horrible smell (I guess my visions are multi-sensory). I rarely notice when thoughts/visions/awarenesses like this pass through my mind because I generally convince myself that it’s just worst-case, paranoid thinking.

In this case, it was pure premonition.

On the way to pick Clare up, I stopped to top up my gas tank. I also did what I rarely do (despite having parents who drilled into my head that I should do it every time I gas up): I checked the oil. And when I saw nothing on the dipstick, I wiped it off (for good measure?) and checked it again. And then I did it one last time (because sometimes the obvious is lost on me). Nothing. My car was out of oil!

I need not remind my mom and stepfather of the other Honda I killed by not having oil in it… I would never live down the reckless murder of two Hondas.

So I proceeded immediately to an auto parts store and found the wrong brand of oil for my car. And in my cluelessness, I grabbed only one bottle of the wrong stuff. When I asked the young kid at the register if I had the correct oil, he said, “Close, but not quite.” So he grabbed me a bottle of the better stuff and I naively asked, “So, should I put the whole thing in?” He truly did his best to hide his amusement as he said, “Umm, if it’s empty, you’ll need two or three.” I’m so happy I knew enough to ask for his help! He can laugh at me all he wants—I totally deserve it.

So I went out to that parking lot, put three quarts of oil in my car, and proceeded on with my day. $21 and one intuitive hit saved the life of my precious best automotive friend.

I love you, Honda CR-V, and I’m sorry I almost let you die a slow and painful death. I will do better in the future.

Leaves and mountains, thank you for filling the world with your breathtaking beauty. Clare mentioned being worried about waking up and realizing it was all just a dream—because it was THAT beautiful. This picture doesn’t even begin to do it justice:

 

(Originally published September 21, 2013)

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Me: “Hey, Ry (my big bro), did you hear the good news? I think I went on a date last night!”

Ryan: “You THINK you went on a date? What does that mean?”

Me: “Well, you know…I wasn’t sure if she was looking for a new friend or if she’s interested in more than that. I think it’s leaning towards more than that, which means I think I went on a date last night.”

Dating. Wow. What a crazy thing. I wasn’t even nervous to see Clare last night because I went into it with the assumption that she’s just looking for new friends in Denver. (We met through book club.)

We had drinks at this cool bar called Mario’s Double Daughter’s Salotto. It was fantastically strange, as you might gather from the logo:

It’s very dark. The walls are painted black and then strewn with big chunks of glitter to catch what little light there is. There are two huge black trees made out of paper (maybe?) that stretch toward the middle of the room. Many fake birds dangle from the ceiling. The slats of the banister leading up the stairs to the restrooms are actually axes. It’s the kind of place my friend Julie Godard would create, given the time and materials, if asked to design a slightly creepy but very cool bar. There are numerous bright red circular booths lining the right side of the room and bar stools along the left.

The drinks are creative and VERY STRONG. The instant buzz I got from drinking on an empty stomach (and, let’s face it, I’m a lightweight) undoubtedly helped the conversation flow more smoothly.

Me: “So, in your experience of dating [because she’s on a dating website and actually does this strange thing called dating], how do you know who should pay? It’s so much more obvious in hetero dating to know that, of course, he’s going to pay. How have you found it to work with lesbian dating?”

Clare: “Well, I think the one who paid for the U-Haul doesn’t usually also have to pay for dinner.”

It was all I could do to not mouth-spray my drink everywhere from this hilarious response! This girl is funny. And has amazingly expressive eyes. And she reads. This is going well.

After drinks we walked through a bit of Downtown Denver until we reached the Contemporary Museum of Art (somewhere I’ve never been). We were there for an event called Pecha Kucha. Here’s what Wikipedia says about it:

PechaKucha or Pecha Kucha (Japanese: ペチャクチャ, IPA: [petɕa ku͍̥tɕa],[1]chit-chat) is a presentation style in which 20 slides are shown for 20 seconds each (six minutes and 40 seconds in total). The format, which keeps presentations concise and fast-paced, powers multiple-speaker events called PechaKucha Nights (PKNs).

PechaKucha Night was devised in February 2003 by Astrid Klein and Mark Dytham…as a way to…allow young designers to meet, show their work, and exchange ideas.

This was a fun event—I would highly recommend it! The presentations we saw were very impressive and I was exposed to amazingly creative companies doing brilliant things, such as tres birds workshop.

The event was hosted outside and the slides were projected onto a giant screen. This picture is of a guy who was talking about an interactive video game he designed for the huge screen at 15th and Champa in which the people down below use their own bodies as a way to control what’s happening on the screen. The idea was to get strangers to bond more easily through the medium of play.

The best presentation by far was from the Wafflich guy. His presentation was hilarious because he basically had no point (the theme was “in the middle”) except to entertain with adolescent humor that made me guffaw a few times. We did buy one of his Waffliches (a sandwich pressed and heated in a waffle iron) and it was yummy.

After Pecha Kucha we got another round of drinks, chatted more, laughed more, and then I drove her home. It was such a good night that I wasn’t even angered by the parking ticket on my windshield (my meter ran out 10 minutes before the cutoff time and they nabbed me!)—it was worth it for such a fun night out.

And the rest…well, I can’t say. I’m not one to not kiss and tell.

(Originally published September 20, 2013)

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I just found one more thing to be FIRED UP about! It’s called DietBet.com and it’s a 4-week social dieting game.

This is a site where you can join a weight loss “game” that has clearly defined stakes. I just joined the Jillian Michaels game that will start in four days (there are new games starting all the time).

Everyone who joins this game will put $30 into the pot and then everyone who loses 4% body weight in 4 weeks will split the pot. (Different games have different buy-in amounts.) The Jillian Michaels pot is currently at $96,000 and increasing by the minute.

One woman wrote in a comment that since joining DietBet.com, she’s lost 40 pounds and made $400. How does it get better than MAKING MONEY to LOSE WEIGHT?!

The brilliance of this site is not only the potential to make money. It has also been proven in study after study that social support and social accountability do wonders to increase the odds of successful weight loss. This site offers BOTH! The platform is typical social media-esque, where you can link to friends and banter about things and share recipes and announce accomplishments.

I invited many friends to join me (which can be potentially awkward, so I mostly only invited friends with whom I’ve had conversations about weight loss, etc.) and I hope this is something that many of us can do together to help stay inspired and motivated. If I didn’t personally invite you but this sounds like something you’d LOVE to do, please join the challenge and then “friend” me on the site.

Another benefit is that it’s easy to roll the winnings from one challenge into the next (skimming off the top, of course, for something loving for your body like a massage or a manicure…) so that if one can stay on target, there’s really only one buy-in for many future payouts. That’s the kinda’ math I like!

(Originally published September 19, 2013)

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I had the immense honor and pleasure this morning of participating in a study to determine whether listening to particular music would shift my physical and energetic body via the measurement of Kirlian photography. What an amazing way to start the day!

Not actually my photo–but cool!

The good news: The pictures say that I have great energy. The kind man running the machine seemed genuinely impressed with my results and was earnest in saying, “No, really. These are great scans. What do you do?”

In other words, “What’s your secret?” (Although I absolutely KNOW that his scans would be pretty phenomenal, too).

His question made me step back and think, “Huh. What am I doing to show such healthy scans?” I don’t know anything for sure, but here are things that must help:

1) I’ve got two amazing trips planned that I’m looking forward to (I recently read this can do wonders to increase someone’s happiness quotient).

2) I’ve been moving my body a lot lately–and I do it mostly outside in nature and always with my dogs. That’s the biggest love sandwich I can think of! Trees, grass, mud, a beautiful lake (with a mountain backdrop from the east side of the lake and a city skyline backdrop from the west side of the lake), being in tune to the rhythm of the seasons, laughing at my adorable and joyful dogs, watching ducks and geese and all manner of birds, meeting other dogs and dog people along the way, and listening to empowering audio or uplifting music while I walk. This is a great way to start the day.

3) I love my job. I work with people I enjoy, I feel like I’m a huge contribution every day to the workings of the business, I’m never bored and always learning new things…and did I mention that I work with amazing people?

4) By following Dave Ramsey’s baby steps, I’m almost out of debt for the first time in my life and I finally feel like I have a clue what to do with money now.

5) I have four of the most loving animals a girl could ask for! I might not be partnered right now, but I don’t lack love! My love for my animals grows EVERY single day–when I don’t think it can get bigger, it does. EVERY DAY!

6) I am grateful. I am truly grateful.

 

(Originally posted September 18, 2013)

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We all have things we like to do when we’re in a funk, right?

One thing I do is go to my local independent bookseller (The Tattered Cover), get some chai, and meander around slowly until a book basically jumps off the shelf at me and says, “PICK ME, PICK ME!”

A couple months ago I was funk-busting at “The Tattered” (as locals call it) and this is what jumped out at me:

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Read this book! If you’re looking to change something in your life, this is a great choice. If you just love reading well-written and well-researched content that will entertain you while it changes you, this is a great choice.

Duhigg shares an inspiring story about William James (brother of writer Henry James). William was kind of the f*ck up of his family—he was going nowhere fast and he felt like a complete failure. Instead of taking his own life, which was an option he’d been considering, he decided to do a year-long experiment:

“He would spend twelve months believing that he had control over himself and his destiny, that he could become better, that he had the free will to change.”

“Over the next year, he practiced every day. In his diary, he wrote as if his control over himself and his choices was never in question.”

And guess what? His life turned around in every area!

Duhigg continues speaking about William James:

Later, he would famously write that the will to believe is the most important ingredient in creating belief in change. And that one of the most important methods for creating that belief was habits. Habits, he noted, are what allow us to “do a thing with difficulty the first time, but soon do it more and more easily, and finally, with sufficient practice, do it semi-mechanically, or with hardly any consciousness at all.”

[People grow] “to the way in which they have been exercised, just as a sheet of paper or a coat, once creased or folded, tends to fall forever afterward into the same identical folds.”

Do YOU Have the Will to Believe?

Do you believe that you can create the change you’re seeking in your own life?

Are you creating your own “creases and folds” to your liking or are you allowing everyone around you to crease and fold you according to their will?